So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
