Can Purell be used as lube?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
