I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
