just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
