im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
