Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
