Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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