super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
