Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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