So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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