i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
