I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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