Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
