Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
