I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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