i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
