She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
