Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
