There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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