I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
