i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
