This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
