hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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