marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
