david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
