Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
