Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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