apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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