Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sext me about skeletons
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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