I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
