I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
