the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
high people should be assigned attendants
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize