omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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