Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
