Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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