I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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