Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
