she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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