Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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