My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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