I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
