Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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