Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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