I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
nutella sex= disaster
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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