and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
