Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
