never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
