What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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