I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
