So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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